Beyond the Bubble Bath

Last week I signed up for this supposedly-self-care email series, hoping it would nudge me to take better care of myself during a pretty stressful time.

Imagine my disgust disappointment when the first email arrived, suggesting readers take more bubble baths with scented epsom salt.

I love me some scented epsom salt baths. But.

If you claim to be a self-care guru, and your first tip is that predictable simplistic off-base useless uninspired elementary, you're putting out some false claims. Because, contrary to what women's magazines and self-help books would have you believe,  a bubble bath is NOT the epitome of self care.

A bubble bath is ONE example of pampering or relaxation. A pedicure is another example. A massage... You get it.

Pampering and relaxation are a component of self-care, but I would argue that they are the LEAST important parts. Pampering is, like, the icing on the cake of a self-care approach. But no amount of pampering in the world will make someone who is stressed and dissatisfied with life feel good about life (ask any stylist, esthetician, massage therapist, or manicurist who works on the Main Line).

Self-care, to me, is about being a steward of the life you were given. Respecting and caring for your body, mind and soul, as if you were your own loving parent. Building habits that create a life that makes you feel blessed.

Self-care to me, is:

-Choosing your own priorities
-Standing up for yourself
-Maintaining boundaries
-Hydrating
-Eating nutritious foods
-Keeping your body active (active enough; but not over-exerting your body on a regular basis)
-Saying "no" when you mean no
-Aligning your resources with your values- spending your time, money and energy on the things that truly matter to you (I don't need another freaking necklace... I just don't.... but so many "self-care" articles will urge you to buy things to "treat yourself." I call bullshit.)
-Living within your means
-Speaking your truth and
-Maintaining your privacy
-Doing work you love
-Creating regularly
-Taking care of your living things (be they children, pets or plants)
-Resting. As often as you need to.
-Unplugging
-Unapologetically claiming your life as your own, without the pressure of trying to please everyone

Self-care goes way beyond the bubble bath.

Can we change the script on that?




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